Travel Required

I'm going on vacation on Friday. We are going to NY for a party and then heading to Niagara Falls. Not my first choice for vacation, but something that Andy has always wanted to do. I would have pushed back harder saying it is a bad time to be traveling pre-contest, but I realize that part of this journey is figuring out how to maintain as normal of a life as possible while dieting and exercising this much.

So....

I will be bringing workout clothes. 6 pairs for 6 different days. (Sunday is my day off after all)
I have already figured out kinda sorta how to do workouts with free weights only. I booked the hotel, so I know there is a gym. But pictures indicate only 3 cardio machines. Which means I'll have no problem getting the cardio in, but may be a problem for weight training. However, since we are DRIVING from my dad's to the falls, we are probably going to be able to bring his weights. I know this sounds crazy, but it is actually easier to do than you would think because he has those stackable-adjustable weights. So, I made my workouts planned around using these weights only.

As for food, I have already sectioned out all my protein shakes into snack bags for each day. 3 shakes a day! I put glutamine into 2 of the 3 each day to make sure I get 10 grams in the shakes. Then I'll need to still pack extra glutamine somehow for my other 15 grams a day.
I also sectioned out 4 snack bags of oatmeal, pre-mixed with sweetener and apple pie mix. Just add water and viola! Then, I grabbed 4 luna bars and 3 bags of tuna...these are in case of emergency. I may be traveling and have no other option. Otherwise, Ellen and my Dad have promised to pick me up some egg whites, chicken and green beans. That should work out easy for their house. In Niagara I'm counting on everywhere we go to have chicken breast. I think that is a pretty easy assumption, but if they don't, I will have my emergency back up plan snacks.

I also bagged up enough supplements for 7 days.

I believe I have everything. What is really great is about 4 months ago, the thought of going on this trip really freaked me out. Now, I feel like I'll be in control as long as I bring my lunch bag and all the back up plans. The worst feeling is to be somewhere and not have an option. So as long as you make sure there always is an option, then that really is no longer a problem.

Wish me luck.

P.S. I'm hoping to get an updated body fat number tomorrow. Will post with a progress picture if there is improvements.

Competition Suit

I think I have explained on and off what is going on with the suit. So here's the full scoop.





At Monica's camp, I met Sonya Davis, and she was super nice. She is from Alabama and has this twang in her voice. She also is a judge for contests, so that was cool to talk to her and get the scoop on what judges are looking for. But what really impressed me is she designed this suit for Ava Cowan:

Ava wears this suit in a Gaspari Nutrition add, and I saw it recently as the first ad when I opened my Oxygen Magazine in May. I immediately thought she looks freaking gorgeous. And I LOVE the suit. Well, Sonya designed her suit!!! At that point, I was sold on getting a suit from Sonya and her company "Bambi Boutique" (check out her link to the right).

At first, I thought I would go with a teal. Everyone has told me I would look great in blue because I do when I wear just a normal top. So I picked out an aqua blue. I told Sonya I trust her design work so she could just do whatever style she wanted with the rhinestones. I paid for the most stones I could get without being too over the top (after all, this is the amateurs people!).

Well, then I spoke with Amy on the phone. She said that light colors just don't look as good on stage. She can't explain why, but they just don't. She said if I were going to go with a blue, to go with a navy or a royal blue. Can't say I like either of those blue colors very much. So then I told her about the suit Ava is wearing and we went to Sonya's website together and Amy said it was PERFECT. So she was like "well if you like it so much, why didn't you just get Sonya to make you one that is similar, but in your budget?". Well, aren't I stupid. That was a pretty obvious question and I probably should have just had the same suit made for me!

So I emailed Sonya and she said, "no problem" and now we are making a mini-Ava Cowan suit for me. It will be in my budget though. And if anyone is wondering what is the budget...well, get ready to shit your pants. My suit is going to cost $680. With shipping, that is $700. Yes. you read correctly. Probably the suit in the picture of Ava, she is most likely wearing a $1500 suit. So, yes, mine won't be as wonderful. But very very pretty I'm sure.

So, how on earth am I supposed to know what size I will be to have already ordered the suit??? Well, that is an interesting point. So when I met with Sonya, she took my measurements. And then we discussed what we thought my competition weight would be. At the time, I was about 125 pounds. And I knew I had 102 pounds of lean body mass. So I told her I didn't anticipate being any smaller than 110 pounds. She agreed because she said she could tell that I have a lot of muscle. So that is what we ordered. BUT, I am 118 pounds right now. And 14 weeks till contest. So I may be less than 110 by contest. Which isn't a super bad deal as long as I'm not smaller than 105 pounds. If I get too much smaller than that, then well, I may have a problem. See I will need the suit altered to fit me if I am too much smaller. But it is better that way than the other way around. Let's say I stay at 118. Well, that suit is never going to fit me right then. I'll just be screwed. You can't make a small suit fit a big body. You just can't. So that probably won't be a problem at this point.

So, that is all that is going on with my suit. So many people seem to ask about this and think it is a regular bathing suit or something I'll be able to wear again and again. NO! Only if I compete again will I wear it again. Otherwise, it is getting put in a shadow box and hung in my house. LOL. :)

Amenorrhrea - learn something new I guess?

I had to finally get a reality check this week about my dieting. Maybe to some it seems good, bad, or not sure what to think about it. I really didn't think this would happen to me. I always HEARD of it happening, but didn't actually think it would happen to me.

Well, it is happening.

I technically do not meet the criteria of "Amenorrhea" because for that to occur I would have to miss my cycle for more than 6 months. But, point is, I'm not having one. At all.

There seem to be a lot of opinions on this one out there. And a lot of explanations of what is and isn't normal. Point is, if you have low body fat (<17% or so), you are probably hardly supplementing yourself with enough calories to make it through your day, so how could you provide enough to a baby? That's the simplist way to explain it.

I found this article which seems to put it together to make sense.

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/sclark108.htm

Just weird. Not something I am used to. I guess it might seem "convenient", but it still is weird. And, in my case...it's not like I'm trying to get pregnant if the point is to be so little on stage. LOL. And BTW, all the same symptoms of hormones going out of control are there because they are after all! So it's almost as if I am PMS'ing MORE of the time.

No worries though. My competition is in 3 months...supposedly you don't need to worry about it and see a doctor about it until that time frame is over with (like cuz you should be eating more normal after that!). And I have a visit with my doctor coming up. So don't freak out there people. If I was anyone who hangs out with me on any frequency, I'd be more worried about my mood swings, hunger, and stress levels and accidentally coming in contact with my fist. :)

Plateau Busted - TAKE THAT

I have officially SMASHED my plateau. I don't think I've ever dropped more than about 1.5 pounds in one week. I've been hovering at 123 pounds for 2 months and then I just barely dropped down to 122 pounds....stuck there for 2 weeks... and now:

I'm a whopping 119 pounds! WOO HOO!!!!

I haven't weighted 119 pounds since HIGH SCHOOL. This is an amazing feeling. I was running at the gym today on cloud 9. I hate cardio and today I thought, well this is ok if I'm going to be this little as a result! Ha!

How have I done it???? Well, the diet freaking sucks is one thing. Althought I have to say I'm getting used to being on it. Today is day 30 without alcohol...the longest I've been without alcohol since high school is 35 days...obviously I'll be smashing that record as part of this comp prep. But really, this is the diet and workout that is now sucking my fat away:

WARNING: Not for the weak minded!

Breakfast:
Every other day 1/3-1/2 cup oats
all days 1/2 grapefruit and 6 egg whites

Snack:
protien shake, almond butter, 1/2 grapefruit

Lunch:
40grams of quinoa with 3 oz chicken with 1 cup green beans

Snack:
3 oz shrimp with 1 cup asparagus with 1 cup green beans

Snack:
protein shake, 1 rice cake

Dinner:
3 oz chicken breast and 2 cups green beans

weight training 4 days a week. Double up legs. 1 day plyometrics.
Cardio: 3 days fat burning for one hour, 2 days 45 minutes of running/sprinting, 1 day 45 minutes of cycling.
That leaves only 1 rest day. And no day without cardio.

whew. It's rough I tell you.

BUT, you put the time in....and you get results. Now I only have 9 pounds to go and 14 weeks left. About another 6% body fat to lose. I'm more worried about the body fat than anything else. But I think it will start to melt away if I can keep this weight loss up!

Food Cravings

I don't think my food cravings are really bad....yet. I'm sure they will become awful especially when I get close to contest. ESPECIALLY when I am in the last 6 weeks and I can't have a cheat meal at all! Right now on Saturdays I'm eating 2200 calories...650 of which can be cheat food. I realized that 650 calories is really nothing in terms of good food. I can't get dessert at any restaurant and meet that 650 calorie limit. Unless I only eat like 1/4 of the dessert they bring...and who is going to do that?

So, my plan is to always buy my own dessert or make it so I know exactly what is in it. Today I am going to be able to pull off eating my low fat peanut butter cookies (like 3 of them) with 1.5 cups of Dreyer's Slow Churned Light ice cream. That is 650 calories. I just got back from Outback and had a 6oz steak with veggies and half a plain baked potato. I found out Outback's nutritional info is on the web, so I was able to successfully calculate all of it out and it is about 600 calories for that meal too. Now I'm stuffed and I can't eat dessert quite yet...so I guess I'll have to do some tricks to get in my protein with my dessert since I need to do that for my glucose levels. I'm thinking a scoop of protein powder chugged right before I cheat. Oh, excuse me "reward" myself since Nathan says I shouldn't use the word cheat about food.

In the meantime, I have been thinking about what "real" food (or junk rather, let's just be honest pretty much anything that is good really is crap for my body) I would like to eat after this show is done with. I have a little list going that I think I will have to choose from when we have our post-show celebration on October 24th. In order below, is what my top picks would have to be:

1. Tied for number 1 spot is a bottle of Gallo White Zin and a plate of Nachos from Taco Cabana
2. pizza. Preferably Domino's with jalepeno and pepperoni, dipped in ranch dressing
3. Chocolate Cake. Maybe with ganache.
4. Reese's peanut butter cups
5. One of those penguin cupcakes that Kim made for Luke's 2 year birthday party a year ago...it had a donut hole for a head and chocolate frosting. Maybe it's just the donut hole I loved so much
6. A chocolate frosted donut
7. starburst
8. a frozen margarita
9. Michelob Ultra pomegranate raspberry beer - at least 2 or 3
10. chips and queso

This is 15 weeks out. So I think it will be interesting to see what happens over time and how this list changes. As you can tell, I can't stop thinking about sugar, and a lot of my list involves that.

I plan on bringing the Gallo to my show and popping it open after I am done, that night. Somebody better find the nachos at Taco Cabana and bring them to me. Don't worry, I'll take a photo of myself in suit, tanned and all, with my wine glass and nachos in hand.

Huh.

huh about sums up my feelings this lovely morning.



I took a progress pic and felt pretty good about my body...

But then I had my body fat taken and it comes out to be 17.2%. I was so hoping to be less than 17. So I look at the photo, I look in the mirror and see abs, I look at my quads and see separation, and I'm like "HUH????"

I have to remember what Amy told me last weekend. The calipers won't even tell you the whole story sometimes. Because you lose fat in your boobs, your but, your hips....and the calipers don't measure those spots. That is why we take pictures!

You can't tell from the photos but I really am losing fat in my legs now. They are getting cut! Jonathan noticed today when he took my body fat. And he also told me that he looked on facebook at my old photos (from when he and I first started training) and was like "man, she has made some major progress"...Amy also told me I'm doing great, and that sure does make me feel good coming from such great trainers and professional competitors! That is the best feedback I can rely on at the end of the day!

Screw those damn calipers. I think I'm less than 17% and they are just lying to me....

torture diet that works

So far i have been on this crazy pre-contest diet that is not easy.

Last week when I checked in with Nathan I had only lost 1 pound. So guess what he did? He cut calories and took away my oatmeal every other day (essentially cycling my calories and carbs). So I am eating 1500 calories 4 days a week, 2 days I'm eating 1700 calories, and 1 day I am eating 2200 calories (for a cheat meal to be included see).

Well, I've not been 100% trusting in Nathan I guess. I've been worried that he might be kicking my ass a little too fast. He upped my cardio to 6 days a week. Granted, three days is an hour of steady state calorie burn, so that probably doesn't count for much. And I've been subbing out my interval training for Crossfit class. So maybe it isn't as bad as I make it out to be. But I just don't want to peak too soon, and if I can't break a plateau, it's like "where do I go from here when I'm already doing this much cardio???". So I've been a little scared.

But I have to tell you. This is week 3 of this horrid diet (don't forget also it is day 22 of no alcohol)...and BY GOD. I am getting a six pack. And cuts in my quads that have never existed. If that isn't motivation, I don't know what is. I'm getting my body fat checked tomorrow and I am as anxious as ever. I have an amazing idea that I have broke the 17% fat mark. Which would be wonderful and put me right on track to contest.

Progress pic and official body fat coming tomorrow.....Cross your fingers for me!

Get It

Saturday marked the "16 weeks to go" point for me.

To me, all I can say is "GET IT". No excuses from this point. Can not slack off. When I have a rough day, I can not quit. Because this is it. The countdown is on to contest.

I added my little video of Ava Cowan in a Gaspari Nutrition add to the top of my blog. It is very inspirational and I feel like everything she is saying is embedded in what I do every day at the gym. I keep telling myself that I have to make this happen. And I've heard ALL KINDS of opinions along the way! People just can't help themselves to tell you what you should be doing. Even other competitors have opinions about what I should eat, how I should train, blah blah blah. So I just love watching her in this short deal looking as tough as possible and at the very end saying "the more I hear no, the harder I go". I'm pretty sure that sums up my whole life, but it is especially cool for training in Figure.

I actually had someone call me fat this weekend and at the same time another person say I'm too skinny now. Wow. Talk about a range of judgements coming in all directions.

So, time to put the big girl pants on, pull the toughest skin on possible.....and GET IT. Bring it on suckers cuz I'm ready to run circles around your asses.

Wednesday

I didn't really know how to title this post, so I'm just going to tell you how my Wednesday went. This is a long one, but maybe it will give anyone reading this some freaking clue how crazy my life has become.

The point of this is not to sound like I'm complaining. The whole reason I started this blog was so people could follow my progress and see what trying to compete is all about. But also, and probably most important, it is for me to try and keep a "diary" of what I'm going through. So one day when this is all over I can look back on it and say "oh yeah, I remember when all that was so crazy for me". Hopefully I'm laughing when I do so because I've got a freaking trophy next to the computer. :)

3:15: alarm goes off. I've been so sick all week but I missed Tuesday workout so I drag my ass out of bed. I barely make it to the gym by 3:50 or so. It is pouring outside so that is an extra plus on top of being sick.

4:00: Leg workout. I did a few super sets of good mornings followed by one leg curls. Then went to some super sets of deadlifts with one leg lying leg curls. Then did some back extensions. I think this took about 35 minutes or 40 minutes.

4:50: Cardio. 40 minutes of walk a minute, run a minute, sprint a minute. It was tough, I think the total mileage was around 3 miles but I only burned like 270 calories. God, it sucks doing cardio when all you are burning is like meal 3 of the day.

5:30: hit the shower. I got out of the gym by 6:30. Made it to my office by 7:00.

7:00 -4:30. I'll spare you the pain of what I have to deal with at work. Basically drama, complaints, more assignments that will require a miracle to pull off, performance reviews. That sums it up I think. Only good little note was at the end of the day before I walked out the door, a girl came up from behind me on her cell phone and I heard her tell whoever was on the other end "wow, I just was walking behind Misha and didn't even know it was her because of how skinny she is"...it made me smile.

4:30 book it in the rain to my car. Drive 35 miles to the center of Houston. Beat traffic thankfully but I have to deal with 59 South at about 5:15 which is a little stressful. Chugging my meal 4 protein shake and trying to eat half a grapefruit without messing up my beautiful car.

5:30 make it to the one-2-one fitness on Richmond. Rush into the bathroom to change into my bathing suit. Meet Mary (expert in competition prep) and Stephanie (other competitor with a show in 1 week). Head upstairs to the middle of the cardio area to practice posing.

Now, at this point I learn all about what I'm doing wrong posing. But there is a good side to this: a. I'm starting way early on posing practice. Smart move on my part. b. no one is thinking that I can't do this, and from talking to Mary, it looks like I'm in pretty good shape to be going pre-contest. c. Mary says I can work with her more to perfect my posing.

Oh, but now comes the overload part:
I learn that my show is one of the largest in Texas. Oh, and my number will be given to me based on alphabetical order. Which means I'll most likely be last in the lineup. Which is kinda good because I won't have to wait forever off to the side. But kinda bad because I better nail my show to the judges so they don't forget me. Oh and I'll probably be in bad lighting at first when we are all lined up for quarter turns. So I may have to turn my body purposefully so they can see me better. And also, I'll be starving to death at this point. Oh and there will be Flex magazine, Dan Ray, Muscle and Fitness for Hers...all at this show. So you better not mess up because there will be a ton of photos being taken at all times. And if my competition really sucks, then at the evening show they may only have us do one pose to spare the audience and the judges more pain of seeing the pathetic competition again, which means all my friends and family may show up for only a brief glimpse of me on stage.

There was more, but WHOA. Information overload. Anxiety just hit about a level 8.

So at the end of this I talked to Mary some about how crazy this is getting for me and how stressed I am and how I kinda feel alone for the first time....and she tells me (obviously this is paraphrased to the best I can remember) "no one will understand what you are going through. No one. Your friends and family will say you look awesome and you may look like crap in reality for competing. You will feel tortured and everyone will just be thinking how it sucks the diet you are on but no one will really understand what hell you are feeling. But, no matter what happens, all you can do is the very best you can....stick to your diet, work out as hard as you can...so when you get to the show you know no matter what happens you did the very best you possibly could. And no matter what anyone says you know that at the end of the day this is your personal triumph." And I'm like yeah, that is all spot on to how I feel right now...ok, I'm not alone like I feel I am, I just am for most of the time! And then Mary said something else that I thought was very important for me to remember. "You have to have thick skin to do this. You are going to put yourself through some of the worst torture mentally to get to that show. And all for a few minutes on the stage. And then a judge is going to hand you a summary of what you did wrong and tear you to pieces. So just remember that you are doing this for you and you only." So I walked away to my car with my head held high.

8:00: Make it to my car. I have a text message on my phone from my nutritionist. Wants to talk this weekend about how things are going. Again, encouragement.

9:00: Make it home. Walk in the house with a gym bag, cooler of empty food containers, and a backpack containing sparkly stripper heels and a bathing suit. If that's not a competitor's belongings, well I don't know what is.

From 9-10 I make my 6 meals to take to work on Thursday. Andy helps me and I tell him about my day. I break into tears. This is becoming common for me at this point. The most I can compare it to is pregnancy even though I've never been pregnant to really know. My hormones and stress levels are so high that a 19 hour day is pretty rough on me. Especially when I have had the conversation with Mary that I had at the end of the day. So Andy is looking at me like I'm a freak. But at least he helped me cook my food. That was nice because he kept mentioning how shocking it was about what I had to do to make the food and how boring it was. HA! And I explained to him about the whole "kinda being alone" part of this deal and he actually knew where I was coming from. Like at least if I WAS pregnant with all these emotions and stress and scary unknowns and anxiety I could maybe talk to like, oh, 50 women I know about how they survived. But instead I'm just now trying to meet other competitors and I'm not exactly good enough friends to call them up and ask how they are feeling today.

11:00 I think I finally went to bed. Alarm was going to be going off at 4am on Thursday for a back workout so I was exhausted thinking about it....

There really is a very positive end to all of this. I went to bed for the first time in a long while thinking....I don't really even care about cheat meals anymore. Or alcohol. Or not getting to do anything that "fun" with my friends for the next 16 weeks. This is it. This is the contest prep I've been dying to do for the last couple years. I'm in the home stretch. Kinda like when I ran my marathon: Those last 3 miles were a Bitch compared to the first 23. But who is going to turn around at that point? And still to this day, crossing that finish line was more emotional to me than pretty much any other day of my life. So, this finish line....oh yeah, it will absolutely KICK ASS.

Hormones...Geez

My hormones are absolutely out of control. I think there are many things contributing to this but I do believe this contest has a piece of the pie.

Granted, I am nearing 30 and I believe our hormones go through changes every so many years anyway. So that may be part of it.

But also, I think my body is going through so many physical changes that my hormones are out of whack. I'm not sure I completely understand the biology here, but something is going on.

So why do I give a crap? Well, mainly because I have the worst acne I have ever had in all of my life right now. I mean, it is out of control. Seems like I have a zit, it starts to go away, and here comes another one. Just when I think I'm getting it under control, like 4 will come on. It is a never ending battle. It started about 4 months ago and seems to be getting worse. I'm at my wits end and not sure what to do anymore. I've promised myself to just keep washing my face morning, night, and post workout and do everything possible to not touch it. But then I have to go to work and I'm not going to show up with pizza face, so I wear makeup to cover it up...and Texas weather sucks for wearing makeup and sweating...so I feel like I'm never going to win this battle. I'm getting a facial next week and I'm going to seek out some professional help if I have to. But basically, these hormones are really pissing me off from a vanity standpoint.

I will add that the stress levels I'm experiencing are also through the roof. I am trying to not be stressed out but it is very difficult. And because my hormones are in full swing, I think they feed off the stress levels too (or vice versa). And I'm sure the stress doesn't help the acne!!!! See what I mean about it being never ending????!!!!

So anyway, this is my rant on acne/hormones/stress. It sucks. Yesterday I burst out into tears for something kind of stupid...and I said "these damn hormones!!!"

Ugh.